conversations – Witch Corabell

Birthday dinner but a math experiment by the end

Jamie, the baby of the group, turned 24 on Jan 22nd. As a celebration of her womb escape day and of her artful escape from her cooperate shackles too we decided to go to a Korean BBQ we’ve been to a few times before. Joe, Bailes, and I arrived first and ordered a couple appetizer and drinks.

Bailes mum and step-dad arrived next and poured over the online menu, because the QR code at the table was not functioning properly. This should have been my first clue as to how the evening would end up. The appetizers were really good, I hate that they were both so good. The first one was fried pork dumplings with a kinda sweet savory soy sauce. We ate them so fast I didn’t get a picture lol.

The other was Korea rice cake with braised beef and a ton of vegetables very spicy but we are currently learning to make it ourselves. It was that good. B always gets that peach soju. Tastes like drinking candy but gets you smashed if you’re not careful. We shared of course. Joe had hot sake, which B and I cannot stand.

Jamie and Jack arrived and we eventually ordered our combos, fried rices, and such. It was all in all a good time and conversation but the meats were pretty fatty and parts uneatable. Eventhough I don’t think the commentary was needed of “Is anything here NOT cook it yourself?!?” Kinda childish but I digress… After I finally get to have my love affair with the delicious steamed egg our bill arrived.

Sticker shock doesn’t even begin to cover what we felt. It was almost $500 for 7 people to eat. That is with a 20% tip added on already. After being told in so many words the establishment would not split our bill we set to the task of doing mathematical gymnastics to figure out what we all owed. We then handed the staff 4 cards with instructions for each. That kinda put a sour taste in our mouth for the experience but we all just vowed to never go back.

As we all congratulated Jamie one more time before we escape into the night we made plans for the following week to hang out. I love her more than words can say and wish her the best in the coming year. Fly high my juju bean.

Like Persona 3 I’m Pulling the trigger

Long and short of it is that I’ve decided my rapidly declining mental health is more than the fiscal health care responsibilities of future me. My deductible being paid now or later is no matter. I still have an out of pocket responsibility of 6k each year also and none of my co-pays or medicines go towards the deductible so it’s kinda a catch 22. In January the deductible resets so meh if I don’t plan to use the insurance but in the regular manner the “savings” don’t amount to much… Yay American Healthcare system.

My physician is already surprised at how “bad” I’ve stood the emulsified oil getting. It’s not really my nature to give in early, or nor push what I can stand. Adaptation is something that I’ve had to do all my life as a preemie so fighting is my default. I’m just choosing my comfort this time. I had to cancel stream today and it hurt. I had not missed a day in November til now but my eye was burning and I was so tired. I will attempt to stream on Monday I’m not completely defeated yet but it’s time for the surgery I feel it.

I still have a few fleeting days that are better than most but I have to be relaxed and focused on a task. I still can believe I made it through House of Ashes only a week ago and beat the game in a 5hr and 45min time frame with no game over but I missed a lot of buttons. A lot can change in a week though. We are never promised tomorrow.

This time though since I’m home and Goddess willing the surgery goes well I’m not wasting a moment I want to plunge forward with new projects, improving my stream message, and building myself and friends up. I want my misery and life experiences to help others. I strive to teach people to be themselves and proud of who they really are. To unquestionably strive for individual happiness as long as you’re not harming others physically or mentally with intentions to do so. Learn about feelings, different perspectives, critical thinking, and self reflection. Maybe I’m crazy and no one is listening but if I help one person that’s enough.

We all should be more open with eachother.

From the ashes we rise

So my first let’s go nuzloke ended at part 5 to a pokemon with fissure. I was kinda crushed and disheartened over the thoughts of starting over but you can’t succeed if you stop trying so I vowed we would start again that following Monday. After taking the weekend to think about it I was ready to restart because the pokemon streaming community is important to me and I really enjoy it.

I’ve played pokemon since the first games came to the U.S, blue was my first game, and I’ve been in love ever since. My partners and I are working on getting an plug in for the pc that plays game boy, sp, and game boy advanced games as well as home brewed pokemon games. It’s only like $50 USD but wouldn’t get here til December if we ordered now. This is not necessary but we aren’t comfortable putting roms on our PC.

I also ordered a small cosplay and a wall mount for my streaming mic.

So eventually after my domination of let’s go Pikachu maybe we will go back and do nuzlokes of older games. Trainer Cora is here to stay! I hope you all are into it. Other things are happening on stream too like my wife and I are streaming together on Wednesday’s and my bestie Jamie may start streaming from my channel on Thursdays or Saturdays. Those are days that I am off currently.

We smashed the goals for September so look for these special streams coming up.

I hope everyone’s lives are going well currently and that you’re growing day by day. Remember good things take time, Rome wasn’t built in a day and such. Be kind to yourself and others.

Don’t forget to start reading the book club book!

Blessed be ❤

Solstice joy

Even though the solstice is past I wanted to share a bit about the celebration.

The solstice was Sunday the 20th and I missed it completely. My mental health is dipping as we get closer to my dad’s birthday on the 29th. I miss him so much during summer we spent a lot of time together in the summer. Family cook outs, fishing, just late night talks and all the doors and windows open. I miss it.

The day’s are now longer til the holly king wins again at the winter solstice. The earth in the north grows lush and green now. We are receiving the summer bounty watermelon, peppers, radishes, cucumbers, and strawberries are some of my favorites of this season. Our little garden is doing well, except the groundhog keeps eating the corn sprouts. The roses are blooming and I’ve already dried my first bunch of petals. I can’t wait til the lavender is ready to harvest to dry.

In years past we’d be growing all kinds of peppers for hot sauce to can but we still have a shit ton from the last few batches. All so delicious 😋. My favorite is the jalapeño pulp, we just add it to meals for an extra kick. I need to spend a bit more time outside but I don’t enjoy going out alone to lounge anymore as my eyesight isn’t great.

Anyway I hope everyone had a blessed solstice and that your harvest is bountiful this year. I may go quiet until June is over just to let myself feel what I’m feeling and focus on happiness with my dad not just the fact that he is no longer here. I thank you all for your understanding.

Blessed be.

Home Improvements

Lots of things have been going on in the house recently. We’ve been able to make some small but needed improvements to the inside and outside. We were able to get the garden box repaired and planted for the summer which I’m stoked about. I’m very glad to be home and able to take care of the plants and flowers.

Joe is currently hanging the new door in the office so we’ll have better sound quality and a not as loud door too. I’m very excited for this so it isn’t so loud on stream! We also have already cleared out a lot of the basement area out and had a dumpster hauled away already. Getting that area clear is important to us so we can have a retro gaming area and area for get together that involve boardgames.

We’ve had a few bonfire this year and it’s been awesome to get together with friends outside. We always have a good time sharing stories and joking around. Even gaming occasionally, Mario kart doesn’t have to always ruin friendships. The next step for outside is a pool! Nothing fancy above ground and about waist deep bit I’m excited. I love to float and soak up a little sun. Of course I’ll be armed while inside and outside though. I take no chances with my safety.

We also are looking into rearranging some of the furniture and rethinking how we want to set up the three seasons room for the cats. They love being out there, right now it’s cat tree city with a shanty town of half eaten cat houses but they love it. We will probably tackle some of these issues this coming weekend. I just remembered we need to move the bed too.

Yay I’m sure Joe will have a mini aneurysm about all the changes but he’ll be ok…

Conversations that feel different

I love my friends and my partners and we all talk a lot! Some of those conversations are common and about everyday things like work, weather, family, or things that grind our gears. Sometimes though conversations are deeper more insightful, exploring of self or social constructs without judgments. These kinds of conversations are what I want to talk about today.

I find myself contemplating if others think some talks with friends/family/lovers feel different. It actually happened to me last Tuesday night while B and I were chatting in bed watching a true crime show. Romantic I know. I don’t remember the topic, lol, but it was like I hyper focused on B’s face and eyes. She looks beautiful, her voice sounds like honey, her skin is my safe place, and I love hearing her laugh as I tease her about something she said. I think this is a poor example since I don’t remember the conversation topic so let me try again but the feeling of this conversation is accurate though.

My friend Nikki and I talk a lot about life views, values, and concepts. We come from similar backgrounds but I lead a very alternative lifestyle compared to her fairly traditional upbringing. We never judge eachother for how we live our lives but freely share experiences and insights we’ve gained on topics if the other person lacks knowledge. I trust her a lot and I hope she knows I’d do a lot for her and all her family as she is so dear to me. We can chill in silence and it’s fine we’re still spending time together.

I know it’s partly psychological when some conversations stand out because it’s late at night. Our brains as they get tired have less inhibitions and are more likely to reveal personal information and true thoughts on issues. It’s kinda like having a few drinks to shake the social norm jitters. Helps us focus and word vomit honestly. Probably why all the late night conversations are well remembered and fond memories of relationship beginnings.

Am I alone in feeling this way? Let me know about conversations you’ll always remember or that felt different to you.

Blessed be.